I lost someone very important to me last week. I knew he was important, but didn’t realize how significant until after he was gone. Sadness kept reminding me with a nagging, empty feeling. Suddenly the world looked like a different place and it took a while to get my bearings. The words of the great philosopher Lemony Snicket said it best for me,

It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.

That’s pretty much exactly how I felt. The steps of grief aren’t predictable like a staircase in perfect light. Grief is more like losing your footing in the dark. I discovered that the denial stage of grief is not so much an outright denial as if nothing has happened, and more of a gradual awakening to a new reality that no longer includes your loved one. It comes through all the “firsts” that you don’t anticipate; the first time you walk into a meeting he’s usually at, the first Mother’s Day without her, the first time you see his Facebook page. The sickly feeling follows, and the mini denials give way to outright sadness.

Sadness has so many faces, and they all bite hard.

The question is, how do you find solid ground again once loss and grief take away that top step? How do you readjust the way you think about things?

For me the answer has always been the same- family. My family is my true north. I come back to them after everything seems to fall apart and I immediately feel whole. I come back to them after a heavy day and feel light. They know me. They accept me. They love me no matter what.

What is your true north? What people, relationships and communities keep you grounded? Where do you turn to readjust the way you think of things?

For many people the old comforts of religion no longer offer this grounding. We’re looking for something tangible, something here and now. We’re not looking for a stairway to Heaven. We’re looking to step more fully into life now; sadness, grief and all.

I want everyone to know the feeling I have in the presence of my family. Not everyone will find it in family. Wherever you find it, whether its friends, partners, or communities, hold these people close. Cherish these relationships. Nurture them. Give them time. Because soon enough you will walk into some crisis or other and that top step won’t be there, and you will reach out for a shoulder to balance you or to cry on, or to hold you.

I spent some time with my friend’s family a few days after he died, and this is exactly what they were doing. They alternated between laughter, as they found Ron’s stash of hidden candy and enough coins to cover a lifetime of parking meters, and tears as they realized that their husband, dad, grandfather and brother wasn’t in his usual seat making them laugh. They wondered who would start the grill at the next family function, and they made new plans. All the stages of grief were happening, and they were doing it together. It was so healthy, so honorable, so essential to the healing process.

Every person, and every family, deserves the right to this sort of support through the stages of grief. It’s tragic when someone doesn’t have this support for whatever reason. It’s unjust when society’s laws rob people of the chance for this support. Everyone should have the right to love who they love, marry if they choose to marry and grieve the loss of their loved ones. No law or homophobic insecurity should get in the way of this basic human right.

I was so moved by the story of Tom Bridegroom and Shane Crone. They were lovers, business partners, and planned to be married as soon as they could. When Tom tragically died, his family who never accepted his sexuality took his body back to their hometown and cut Shane out of the picture altogether. He was threatened with harm if he turned up at Tom’s memorial service. He was refused information from the hospital, and completely robbed of the chance to grieve the love of his life.

You can watch the very moving video of the story here.

Some people argue that same sex marriage will threaten the values of society. They say that the Bible encourages monogamous heterosexual marriage, forgetting that the wisest one of all, Solomon had more wives than Mitt Romney’s ancestors. Even the Catholic Church has endorsed same sex marriage at various times through the centuries. (See here for more information on this)

I don’t need to defend the institution of marriage. It’s not for everyone. But no one should be excluded from marriage because of their sexuality.

I believe that society is stronger when ALL people are given their rights to live in freedom, love in freedom, and give and receive support through the crises of life.

I couldn’t say it any better than Elizabeth Gilbert in her book “Committed; A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage.”

Still it is true that many same-sex couples want nothing more than to join society as fully integrated socially responsible family-centered taxpaying Little League-coaching, nation-serving, respectably married citizens. So why not welcome them in. Why not recruit them by the vanload to sweep in on heroic wings and save the flagging and battered old institution of matrimony from a bunch of apathetic ne’er-do-well heterosexual deadbeats like me.

And then we moved to America. The land of the free. Free accept for breastfeeding mothers. No, here they go sit in another room, small cupboards, dirty bathroom stalls or with blankets covering half their bodies in fear of being noticed.

A recent magazine cover here in America ignited the blogger world on fire. Yes dear editors, you win. One hot mama sticking her chest out, hand on hip, with a child on a chair sucking her pretty little boob while she stares blankly into the camera not only satisfies your teenage boy fantasies but has pitted mother against mother. Cheap shot. bull’s-eye! I reacted like many others; in anger, disappointment and frustration. Really? I thought aloud to myself….who the hell feeds a kid like this?

But it wasn’t till my healthy breastfed kids (now 12 and 9yrs) bustled in and spotted the cover photo on our kitchen counter that the pain of this image was felt “ewwww’ one said, “yuk” another chimed in. Breastfeeding in the past may have coaxed an awkward giggle out of them, but never before a “yuk”.  I took it personally, it hurt for it felt as though they were rejecting me and what we shared.

Breastfeeding my kids did not feel at all natural for the first few months. It was endless, exhausting. Mastitis hit me hard countless times and I leaked awkwardly everywhere, anytime. The two hard bricks on my chest felt alien and I wanted my old body back. But once over the physical and emotional hurdles, it became a favourite part of my day. We each have our own stories, that was mine.

I don’t have any opinion about attachment parenting or breastfeeding toddlers; I couldn’t care less to be honest, each to their own. But to change my children’s attitude with one sexualized image, now that I have an opinion about!

“No no, it’s not at all like that!” that I tried to explain to them. “It’s beautiful, normal, healthy and I loved feeding you with all my heart and soul. I sacrificed so much to feed you, I cried for you, I held you, stroked you and comforted you. Oh please don’t say Yuk, please just go back to your non-opinions, childish giggles and shrugs of your shoulders.”

Days later the unread article about the non-issue is now in recycling. Bloggers are blogging, mothers are mothering, and the world keeps turning. My kids still snuggle and are as attached as they always were. Yes,  i really ought to have trusted that a simple moment in time, would not come between us.

I have gathered these ideas over time. Maybe you can add to the list. Also, I’m the least crafty person in the history of craft, so you will have better ways of creating some of these ideas.

1. Plants that come with a certificate to help with planting and watering.
2. 20 Soulseeds Affirmations especially for Mom, delivered by email or text.
3. A gratitude book- make your own book with recycled bits of paper. Do a drawing on one side and write something you appreciate about Mom on the other side. Staple the pages together.
4. Thumb prints pressed into bake at home clay. Then you can turn the clay into a necklace or key chain.
5. Dad and kids together write and illustrate a story with Mom in the starring role as super hero. Print into a hard copy bound book.
6. A Soulseeds Necklace. You can make it yourself with natural beads and wire.
7. Make a love jar. Fill a jar with little things that represent all the things you love about Mom.
8. Record a video of a piano recital, a reading, poetry, riding a bike around an obstacle course. Make it fun.
9. Dad and kids bake a mother’s day cake, decorating it in her favorite color.
10. Make a bouquet of homemade flowers – cut, pasted out of magazines, photos, drawings, pipe cleaners, cotton balls…..
11. Put together a treasure hunt with clues hidden around Mom’s favorite park, beach, or hiking trail, Have a picnic set up at the end of it.
12. Mow a big heart in the lawn, or collect rocks and place them in a heart shape on the front porch.

Happy Mother’s Day to ALL Moms, Grandmas, Aunts, Step Moms, Honorary Moms, Moms of pets, and especially single Moms. Uncles and male friends can help the kids of single Moms to get organized for the big day. You’re doing an awesome job and I hope you feel loved and appreciated this Mother’s Day.

A pregnant woman boards a bus. After sitting down, she notices a man smiling at her. She feels self-conscious and changes her seat, but he starts to giggle. She moves a third time, and he laughs out loud. On her fourth move, he bursts into hysterical laughter. They both get off the bus at the next stop. The pregnant woman is furious and demands an explanation. “What exactly is so funny?” ”I’m sorry, ma’am,” replies the giggling man. “But I couldn’t help noticing you’re pregnant, and when you first sat down, you sat under an advertisement which read ‘Coming Soon: Million Dollar Baby.’ Then you moved and sat under an ad that read ‘Sloan’s Liniments Remove Swelling.’ Then you moved under a deodorant advertisement which read ‘William’s Stick Did the Trick.’ And I just couldn’t hold it in any longer when you moved a fourth time and sat under a tire advertisement which read ‘Dunlop Rubber Would Have Prevented This Accident.’”

I’m going to risk a different sort of accident by writing about Mother’s Day from a male perspective. This is probably unwise, as the general rule is “no uterus, no opinion.” My only right to an opinion is that I have had a front row seat watching an amazing Mom in action for 18 years now. It all began in 1994 with my frantic drive to the hospital. Then many hours later in the delivery room, it happened. Delivery and happened don’t seem like adequate words to describe what went down in that room. Delivery is what happens when your pizza arrives; within 30 minutes or no charge. This was altogether unlike welcoming a pizza boy at the door, and time offered no guarantees. Other words come to mind, but not delivery; words like intense, nerve-wracking, thrilling, and heart wrenching. There is screaming, laughter and tears all within the same breath, then the elation of a little human person in your arms.

I had the honor of cutting the chord. Now that was a heart stopping thing to do. It was hard for me to believe the nurse who said that it wouldn’t hurt either mother or child. I mean it was part of both of them. How could it not hurt? It made me a little squeamish. I asked if we could just leave them attached. It seemed safer. We wouldn’t lose him that way. Couldn’t we just raise him attached?

In all seriousness, being present for the birth of my three children is without doubt the greatest privilege and joy of my life. Words can’t accurately describe the elation of partnering the creation of new life. My heart danced with pride at the sight of Meg; blissfully exhausted. I can only imagine the feeling for a mother in that moment. It seems to me that mothers have an insight into some of the great mysteries of life because of this experience, including a profound appreciation for the Source of Life…… by any name. These insights are universal truths that mothers may be able to help us all to understand.

Holding On and Letting Go

In the Susan Jeffer’s book End the Struggle and Dance with Life, an old woman is asked why she is always cheerful. Her answer is beautiful. “Well, I wear this world just as a loose garment.”

To wear the world as a loose garment means to embrace life with passion, but neither to smother it, nor be smothered by it. Wearing the world as a loose garment speaks of being at ease with what lies beneath, accepting life is it evolves, but not expecting it to stay the same. Wearing the world as a loose garment is a metaphor for holding the balance between embrace and detachment, intimacy and autonomy, the present moment and impermanence.

From the moment the cord is cut, mothers learn the delicate balance of holding on and letting go. It’s a profound spiritual truth that mirrors the mysterious relationship that we all have with the source of life, no matter what language or imagery we use to describe this mystery. The source of life and love is both tangible and concrete like a new born baby or an act of kindness, and it’s also mysterious and fluid like a new realization or a felt connection. Life is both something you can hold onto with passion, and also something that cannot be fully grasped or described. The lesson of motherhood that is a profound spiritual truth for all of us is to balance holding on to life, and also letting go so that you are free for new and evolving experience.

Birthing a New You

Marianne Williamson said- “When a woman gives birth, two are born; a baby from the womb of its mother and a woman from the womb of her former existence.”

Being a mother, in all its humanity, joy and frustration, is ultimately a celebration of a new you. You will never be the same after all this pain, all this loving, all this letting go. In each step on the path of motherhood, you are discovering the delight of awakening to the source of life that dances in and through you.

As a mother, you know what it is to feel such intense passion for your creation that you would stop at nothing to try and end your child’s suffering. As a mother, you know forgiveness like no other. As a mother, you celebrate the achievements of your child because you know better than others the struggle that often leads to success.

Most importantly, mothers know how changeable life is. You know what it is to shift your roles and relationships with your kids. This is such a profound lesson in impermanence. My grandmother died in 1994. At the time, Meg was full of the life of our first child. After the funeral for my grandma, my mother placed her hand on Meg’s pregnant stomach and said, “As one life passes, another begins.” I have never forgotten that moment as new life merged with transitioning life, four generations crossed paths for just a few precious moments.

Mother or not, you are birthing new life each and every day. Your new creations and achievements are dear to you like children. May you wear life like a loose garment, surrendering to the rhythm of the source of life. May you cut the cords that need to be cut, hold tight where appropriate and be wise to know the difference. May you let go, not palms down but palms up so that what you release can fly free. May you know, amidst all the disappointment and imperfection, that life has a unity even if you don’t always feel or understand that unity. All things are evolving as they need to, and you are learning what you need to learn. You are part of the mysterious unity that dances free and unrestrained in all things at all times. I honor all who give birth to life in every thought, word and action.

A pregnant woman boards a bus. After sitting down, she notices a man smiling at her. She feels self-conscious and changes her seat, but he starts to giggle. She moves a third time, and he laughs out loud. On her fourth move, he bursts into hysterical laughter. They both get off the bus at the next stop. The pregnant woman is furious and demands an explanation. “What exactly is so funny?” ”I’m sorry, ma’am,” replies the giggling man. “But I couldn’t help noticing you’re pregnant, and when you first sat down, you sat under an advertisement which read ‘Coming Soon: Million Dollar Baby.’ Then you moved and sat under an ad that read ‘Sloan’s Liniments Remove Swelling.’ Then you moved under a deodorant advertisement which read ‘William’s Stick Did the Trick.’ And I just couldn’t hold it in any longer when you moved a fourth time and sat under a tire advertisement which read ‘Dunlop Rubber Would Have Prevented This Accident.’”

I’m going to risk a different sort of accident by writing about Mother’s Day from a male perspective. This is probably unwise, as the general rule is “no uterus, no opinion.” My only right to an opinion is that I have had a front row seat watching an amazing Mom in action for 18 years now. It all began in 1994 with my frantic drive to the hospital. Then many hours later in the delivery room, it happened. Delivery and happened don’t seem like adequate words to describe what went down in that room. Delivery is what happens when your pizza arrives; within 30 minutes or no charge. This was altogether unlike welcoming a pizza boy at the door, and time offered no guarantees. Other words come to mind, but not delivery; words like intense, nerve-wracking, thrilling, and heart wrenching. There is screaming, laughter and tears all within the same breath, then the elation of a little human person in your arms.

I had the honor of cutting the chord. Now that was a heart stopping thing to do. It was hard for me to believe the nurse who said that it wouldn’t hurt either mother or child. I mean it was part of both of them. How could it not hurt? It made me a little squeamish. I asked if we could just leave them attached. It seemed safer. We wouldn’t lose him that way. Couldn’t we just raise him attached?

In all seriousness, being present for the birth of my three children is without doubt the greatest privilege and joy of my life. Words can’t accurately describe the elation of partnering the creation of new life. My heart danced with pride at the sight of Meg; blissfully exhausted. I can only imagine the feeling for a mother in that moment. It seems to me that mothers have an insight into some of the great mysteries of life because of this experience, including a profound appreciation for the Source of Life…… by any name. These insights are universal truths that mothers may be able to help us all to understand.

Holding On and Letting Go

In the Susan Jeffer’s book End the Struggle and Dance with Life, an old woman is asked why she is always cheerful. Her answer is beautiful. “Well, I wear this world just as a loose garment.”

To wear the world as a loose garment means to embrace life with passion, but neither to smother it, nor be smothered by it. Wearing the world as a loose garment speaks of being at ease with what lies beneath, accepting life is it evolves, but not expecting it to stay the same. Wearing the world as a loose garment is a metaphor for holding the balance between embrace and detachment, intimacy and autonomy, the present moment and impermanence.

From the moment the cord is cut, mothers learn the delicate balance of holding on and letting go. It’s a profound spiritual truth that mirrors the mysterious relationship that we all have with the source of life, no matter what language or imagery we use to describe this mystery. The source of life and love is both tangible and concrete like a new born baby or an act of kindness, and it’s also mysterious and fluid like a new realization or a felt connection. Life is both something you can hold onto with passion, and also something that cannot be fully grasped or described. The lesson of motherhood that is a profound spiritual truth for all of us is to balance holding on to life, and also letting go so that you are free for new and evolving experience.

Birthing a New You

Marianne Williamson said- “When a woman gives birth, two are born; a baby from the womb of its mother and a woman from the womb of her former existence.”

Being a mother, in all its humanity, joy and frustration, is ultimately a celebration of a new you. You will never be the same after all this pain, all this loving, all this letting go. In each step on the path of motherhood, you are discovering the delight of awakening to the source of life that dances in and through you.

As a mother, you know what it is to feel such intense passion for your creation that you would stop at nothing to try and end your child’s suffering. As a mother, you know forgiveness like no other. As a mother, you celebrate the achievements of your child because you know better than others the struggle that often leads to success.

Most importantly, mothers know how changeable life is. You know what it is to shift your roles and relationships with your kids. This is such a profound lesson in impermanence. My grandmother died in 1994. At the time, Meg was full of the life of our first child. After the funeral for my grandma, my mother placed her hand on Meg’s pregnant stomach and said, “As one life passes, another begins.” I have never forgotten that moment as new life merged with transitioning life, four generations crossed paths for just a few precious moments.

Mother or not, you are birthing new life each and every day. Your new creations and achievements are dear to you like children. May you wear life like a loose garment, surrendering to the rhythm of the source of life. May you cut the cords that need to be cut, hold tight where appropriate and be wise to know the difference. May you let go, not palms down but palms up so that what you release can fly free. May you know, amidst all the disappointment and imperfection, that life has a unity even if you don’t always feel or understand that unity. All things are evolving as they need to, and you are learning what you need to learn. You are part of the mysterious unity that dances free and unrestrained in all things at all times. I honor all who give birth to life in every thought, word and action.

The afternoon was a particularly lazy one. No place to be, no plans made. So we sat, we thought, and we chatted, fitting together as we should. Mother and young son. Oh I guess it was probably for just 15 minutes of so, but in a mother’s memory it becomes hours. Hours of sitting, of being.

It was just the two of us back then, but only I knew his world would one day change. At 4 he didn’t know about change, at 4 this world was the only world. This lap of mine belonged to him and only him. My love- all his.

He shifted his weight, legs straddled either side, so he could see my face, feel my tummy.
“In here?” he questioned in a doubtful voice
“Yes” I answered, reassuring him of his new sibling’s presence, between us.
“What will it look like?” We had both wondered together.
“Oh I think a little bit of you, and a little bit of me”, we agreed.

At this he studied my face closely. He came right up to me, his breath tickling my nose.
“Well. I hope it has your eyes,” he finally said with certainty. We are now only inches apart.
“Why” I ask.
“Because I can see myself.”

That is SO true and SO important to remember. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone, on the brink of a decision to throw yourself fully into the unknown, and let an open future with limitless possibilities carry you as you free fall.

To change is to grow, and to grow is move beyond your comfort zone. In fact the only way to stay in the comfort zone is to live in the past because if you are truly engaging the present you realize that it is new and demands a new response from an ever evolving and new YOU.

The comfort zone is the red light district of personal growth. It’s all red lights, stop signs and rear view living, pimping your potential out to the past. The highest bidder is the habitual response because it’s familiar, whether it’s worked for you in the past or not. Even if it worked in the past, it might not work now. Its time to rezone your perspective.

We all have a comfort zone, or maybe several. Our comfort zones are the circles we draw around our lives. We do this for a couple of reasons.

1. To protect what’s inside; the beliefs, the relationships, the identity. They feel fragile.
2. To keep people and things out that may unsettle our worldview. It just feels safer that way.

The purpose of this piece is to nudge you out of your comfort zone, even a little. Wherever possible, we should inspire each other to be ALL we can be, the largest version of ourselves. This sort of interaction is where the magic happens.

Comfort zones are deceptive and misnamed. They offer anything but comfort. They are insatiable, always looking to bury themselves more deeply into a reality that no longer exists. Getting stuck in your comfort zone is like sinking deep into a beanbag; your backside’s starting to feel the hard floor beneath and you CANT get up and you can barely move.

There are two ways to break the cycle and stretch your comfort zone.

1. Expand your circle, to include more ideas, people and possibilities. Invite them in. Welcome them.
2. Step right out of your circle and into someone else’s or some new circle.

Think about the benefits. You may see solutions to problems you have been trying to solve for years with the same, habitual mindset. You may make friends and allies you never imagined. You may find hidden talents you didn’t know you had. You may discover yourself to be a greater person BY FAR than you ever imagined yourself to be; with more capacity and passion than your limited mind ever gave you opportunity to experience.

What is the motivation to burst out of the comfort zone in preference for the wide open spaces of reality? Not fear, not judgment and not guilt. It’s the motivation to BE more, to GIVE more, and to experience more, of what life has to offer. It doesn’t usually happen in one action. It is a trial and error dance, something like the hokey pokey.

Step out of the comfort zone with one foot first, dip your toe in, then pull it out and compare the feeling- which feels more alive? It’s like the difference between the feel of flowing and stagnant water. Put your hand in and feel the temperature of trust, then pull it out. The comfort zone can’t compare to the exhilaration of surrender.  In moments of brave abandon, put your whole self in and feel the freedom. Put your whole self in and shake it all about to fully experience what it is to truly be alive.

Once you’ve hokey pokeyed outside of the comfort zone, trust me, you won’t want to go back. It’s like your first time downhill skiing, terrifying and enlivening at the same time. Or the first time you free fall in love, frightening and irresistible in the same breath.  In these moments, you claim a new reality. You discover that you enjoy this new dance after all and wonder why it took you so long to give in to surrender’s charm. It’s these real life experiences of new freedom that give you insight into the true self, the one that was always meant to be and has nothing to fear or protect. It’s the hokey pokey theory of transformation- put your whole being in surrender’s dance and turn yourself around. That’s what it’s all about.

The hokey pokey is a nice analogy for stepping beyond the comfort zone. It’s a process of acceptance and growth; one foot accepting that you are complete and enough in each moment, the other stepping out and becoming more of who you are. For a child, this might be stepping beyond an identity based purely on yourself to including a family or group. Beyond that, it might involve stepping beyond your own tribe to include in the circle those who are different from you. Beyond that you might include all species, and future beings in your circle.

Ultimately, you might dip your toes in a cosmic perspective that includes all things known and unknown. I came across an English author named Joybell during the week. She offers a powerful perspective on comfort zones-

I have realized; it is during the times I am far outside my element that I experience myself the most. That I see and feel who I really am, the most! I think that’s what a comet is like, you see, a comet is born in the outer realms of the universe! But it’s only when it ventures too close to our sun or to other stars that it releases the blazing “tail” behind it and shoots brazen through the heavens! And meteors become sucked into our atmosphere before they burst like firecrackers and realize that they’re shooting stars! That’s why I enjoy taking myself out of my own element, my own comfort zone, and hurling myself out into the unknown. Because it’s during those scary moments, those unsure steps taken, that I am able to see that I’m like a comet hitting a new atmosphere: suddenly I illuminate magnificently and fire dusts begin to fall off of me! I discover a smile I didn’t know I had, I uncover a feeling that I didn’t know existed in me… I see myself. I’m a shooting star. A meteor shower. But I’m not going to die out. I guess I’m more like a comet then. I’m just going to keep on coming back.

There is so much potential beyond the comfort zone. Give it a try. Imagine what would happen if you stopped holding on for dear life and tried letting go for dear life. Let go of your carefully laid plans and your tightly controlled life in order to claim the dear Life that is waiting to greet you. It’s bigger and better than anything your over protective mind could dream up. As author Catherine Pulsifer wrote,

Your comfort zone is not a place that you want to remain in. Dare, discover, be all that you can be.

“In the beginning there was nothing. God said, “Let there be light!” And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.” Ellen DeGeneres

Feeling in need of a faith-lift? Looking for a safe space to talk about God?

Join this 7 week audio class to explore different ideas of God in light hearted and easy to grasp ways. We will apply the KISS principle to all the classic “isms”, from polytheism to panentheism and atheism. It will be informative, fun and above all, transformative. To paraphrase a Sufi proverb, the more you look for God, the better you come to know yourself.

Out of this class you may choose to upgrade your God for a newer version. Some may trade God in for something more self driven. Some will renovate your God-model. As facilitator, I have no axe to grind. I will share my journey, but encourage you to claim YOUR perspective. I will prod and probe different ideas about God, show the positives and negatives in ALL perspectives, invite you to test everything you hear and empower you to be true to who you are.

Some might resonate with the old joke about the man who slipped while climbing a tree. He grabbed a branch and was hanging on for dear life. After some time passed, he became exhausted. He looked up to the heavens and cried out: “God, help me, please, help me.”

Suddenly the clouds parted and a deep voice resounded, “Let go!”
The guy paused, looked up at the clouds, then down at the ground below, then once again he looked at the clouds, before saying, “Anyone else up there?”

This class will address BIG questions, such as, is there anyone up there? More importantly, we will think about why it matters, and how beliefs or disbelief in God affectsthe way you live your life.

This is how the classes will flow. Each class starts with appetizers, some probing questions and fun illustrations. For entre we will unpack some of the major “isms”, and see the evolution of God through the centuries. Main course consists of 3 BIG ideas, something solid to chew on and digest in your own life. After a pause to loosen the belt of your consciousness, we move to dessert which will be a spirited exchange of ideas in the class.

Click here to sign up for this class exploring God. You can either join in live, or download to listen when it suits you.

Her eyes dart back and forward, touching everything she sees with her undivided attention. She is 100% committed to the world “My purpose is to see you” she says with a tilt of her head.

Every inch of her being is curious, nosey, and right there in other peoples business. Right there in the business of living. “What’s that? I’ve never in my life seen such a thing! How remarkable! What’s it doing? Where will it go? Why?”

Her breath fogging the window, her nose leaving smears I don’t bother to wipe. For there will be more. Smearing, fogging. Looking, seeing. Seeing each thing a million times over with all the wonder of first discoveries.

She turns her head to me, telling me she is surely the first to witness such amazingness. Out there, through the window, “did you see that? This is just incredible!” My curiously slowly wakes from the warm bed of familiarity.

So I sit right next to her and ask her what she is looking at? What is just so captivating that you do not move for hours in fear of missing a moment?

“See? Right there” she says excitedly, “It’s a squirrel, and look over there I see a bird, oh, and up there…. a leaf! It’s a LEAF MOVING A LITTLE BIT!” She looks from me to the leaf, then back to me, back to the leaf, begging me to see what she sees. “Do you see it?”

Yes, yes I do see it I convince her. Wow, how about that? Yes, it IS amazing. I scratch her chin, pat her head and thank her for showing me the squirrel, bird and leaf. For showing me a whole new world, even though it’s the same one that is there day after day right out my window. And after a moment of gratitude, I figure that a dog’s life, is truly a wonder-filled thing.

In Michigan, we have new neighbors moving in. We won’t see their faces, but their equipment will soon start popping up over the fence line and their waste seeping under the fence line. You’ll know when they arrive because you will literally feel the earth move under your feet, to quote the 1980′s Carole King hit. Please allow me to introduce you to your new neighbors. Meet the frackers. The question is, are we going to greet the frackers with a basket of muffins or a picket line?

Michigan is the latest in a long list of places around the world dealing with this issue. Whole countries, such as France and Bulgaria have banned fracking. States, such as New York, have banned it. And cities, such as Christchurch in New Zealand have banned the practice.

In May, the Michigan DNR (Department of Natural Resources) is auctioning state land in 23 counties, 23,000 acres in one county alone (Barry) and almost a whole township (Yankee Springs). They will likely be sold to gas companies who will frack the life out of wetlands, streams, lakes and park land.

Fracking is multidirectional drilling, injecting chemicals a mile or more beneath the surface to fracture the rock and remove its resources.

Carolyn Knapp is a dairy farmer in north eastern Pennsylvania near the New York state line. In 2006 she signed a lease to a gas company to drill on her land. She thought it would create an economic boom for herself, her community and indeed the whole country because it would ease American dependence on foreign oil. She quickly discovered some negative effects. She says that her tap water turned a jello-like substance once the drilling started. Her cattle were damaged, water was contaminated and her daughter ended up in hospital with an enlarged spleen and liver. The added jobs were short lived, the land damaged, property values decreased and the whole face of the community changed. Carolyn has become a vocal opponent of fracking.

What do you think about your new neighbors, the frackers? Will they be the life of the neighborhood, bringing prosperity and opportunity or are they the neighbors from hell who will make lots of noise, poison your drinking water and create an earthquake of damage?

There are clearly pros and cons to fracking. The pros include short term economic growth, new jobs, cheaper gas, and less reliance on foreign oil.

The cons include a long list of uncertain affects- the affect on water, possible cause of earthquakes in areas never before prone to earthquakes, and long term damage to species including humans.

My own opinion is that we need to know more before we allow the frackers to move in. There’s too much at stake. I like this quote from Naomi Klein,

How else to describe this, but as a form of mass insanity. Just when we know we need to be learning to live on the surface of our planet, off the power of sun, wind and waves; We are frantically digging to get at the dirtiest, highest emitting stuff imaginable.

Fracking is another example of the immature relationship between humans, our technology and the earth. We know how to create technology that we don’t yet have the maturity to know how to use well. When we raise kids, we spend time discerning when they are old enough for various things; facebook, their first cell phone, driving and voting to name a few. We want to make sure they have the maturity to know how to handle their opportunities and technology. It’s the same for adults. We just don’t have anyone regulating our maturity. Technology such as fracking is an incredible opportunity, and evidence of amazing human ingenuity. The question is whether we have the emotional and ethical intelligence to handle it.

Until we display the ability to live in harmony with, rather than dominate nature, we will only use technology in a destructive way. Take for example Motorola’s 2010 slogan for a new cell phone. Mike Rowe, from the TV show Dirty Jobs, is seen biting the phone and it says the phone can withstand extreme temperatures, dust, shock, pressure and humidity. Then the caption says, “Slap Mother Nature in the face.”

It seems to go against any cultural etiquette to slap your mother in the face. In any case, it’s a delusion. If we misuse the earth, we will be slapping ourselves in the face. AT&T came out with their own nature based cell phone slogan the same year. It was a beautiful video of a cell phone emerging out of the buds of a plant and a bunch of phones shooting like seeds from a dandelion. This is much closer to reality.

There is a story about the tension between nature and technology.

One day a group of scientists got together and decided that humanity had come a long way and no longer needed Mother Nature.  So they announced that they were done with her.  They said, “Mother, we’ve decided that we no longer need you. We’re to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things of our own, so thank you for all you’ve done but we can take it from here.” Mother Nature listened very patiently and then said, “Very well, how about this? Let’s have an invention contest.”  To which the scientist replied, “Okay, we can handle that!”  “But,” Mother Nature added, “We’re going to do this the old fashioned way.” The scientists said, “Sure, no problem” and bent down and grabbed a handful of dirt. Mother Nature looked at them and said, “No, no, no. Get your own dirt.”

The point is that everything we create today requires the earth in some form. None of our progress or technology could happen without the earth’s resources. Carl Sagan said in “Cosmos”, “If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.” Nothing we create is from scratch. Everything we create depends on everything else that is already created, and everything we do now impacts all that is to come. It’s all connected from smallest to largest substance. Look at an atom and you are participating in a rabbit’s hole of infinite smallness. Look at the stars and you are participating in a telescope of infinite largeness. Look within and you are participating in the creation of all consciousness. Above, beneath, within- all is related.

Everything we create now affects the whole, including future generations. There is a beautiful story from the Jewish tradition about a carob tree.

Honi, also known as the Circle Maker, was walking on the road and saw a man planting a carob tree. Honi asked the man, “How long will it take for this tree to bear fruit?”

The man replied, “Seventy years.”

Honi then asked the man, “And do you think you will live another seventy years and eat the fruit of this tree?”

The man answered, “Perhaps not. However, when I was born into this world, I found many carob trees planted by my father and grandfather. Just as they planted trees for me, I am planting trees for my children and grandchildren so they will be able to eat the fruit of these trees.”

Thinking long term, and taking into account the needs of future generations, is a spiritual principle. It gets you beyond yourself to your connection to the whole. Planting trees is an awesome practice in perspective and long term thinking. Arbor Day, celebrated last week, is one of the rare celebrations that looks forward rather than backwards at some past event.

Earth care takes precedence over religious duties. In fact you could say earth care IS a spiritual duty. There is even a Jewish saying that if the Messiah returns while you are planting a tree, finish planting first and then go with the Messiah. Fracking is one of the latest challenges/ opportunities to live in a way that honors the connectedness of all of life. It is an opportunity to make ethical and far reaching choices beyond immediate economic gain.

It’s ultimately about drilling deep into our own consciousness, and seeing what resources of character we can extract and use for the good of all.

There is a fun scene at the beginning of the movie, Meet the Fockers. Robert De Niro plays the father in law (Jack Byrnes) who is super critical of EVERYTHING about his son in law, Greg, played by Ben Stiller. When Greg arrives in a green rental car, they have this conversation.

Jack: Interesting color. You pick it?
Greg: Oh, no, the guy at the counter. Why?
Jack: Well, they say geniuses pick green. But you didn’t pick it did you Greg?

We need to intentionally pick green now because we know it’s best for all concerned. Whatever your opinion about fracking, clean energy sources, or any other environmental issue, base your opinions on the best thing for all concerned, which is all species, now and in the future.

We need to make mindful green choices NOW or else we’re all going to be fracked.