I. Screw. Up. (In case there are still a handful of you out there who hadn’t realized) Ahh, that feels better. And I don’t mean just sometimes. No, daily, and most probably hourly if I am to be honest. This motherhood gig is a lot harder than I thought it would be. The wide-eyed optimism ... Continue Reading »
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How many members of Congress does it take to change a light bulb? Every one of them, and they still can’t do it. They spend all their time arguing about who deliberately caused the light bulb to break in the first place, debating whether the science of electricity is reliable and fighting over which programs ... Continue Reading »
A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.- Jerry Seinfeld Let me expand on that……parenting is like a topless blender. Just when you fill that blender with all the perfect ingredients for the best ever smoothie, (a little flax seed for heart health, a little ... Continue Reading »
Ever noticed that really thin line between a perfectly wonderful moment and hating your entire life? (Please say it isn’t just me! Seriously, please, email me, like, now) It’s like an invisible wire that trips you up without warning or notice. Oh you’ll be going about your day gaily with a song in your heart ... Continue Reading »
I think it’s safe to say that I’m not a fan of the science project. Does this make me a bad mother? Perhaps, but so be it. It all starts out so innocently, with “Select a topic” but pretty much goes down hill from there. Oh yes, it all looks fun and games on paper, ... Continue Reading »
Nothing quite does it like the form fitting Spanx. The all-empowering under-garment that makes me believe I can conquer new worlds, turn the world on its axis, and make supermodels weep. Who knew all that power would come from simply being able to suck in my baby belly? (Can I still call it that when ... Continue Reading »
Show me a girl who meets a boy. A boy who doesn’t know how to steal a look without being caught. A boy who can only ever be himself, who hasn’t ever learned how to hide, only seek. Together they chase the chance to be. Once caught, they stare at the truth within the other. ... Continue Reading »
I try to have a conversation from the bedroom. He was in the bathroom. “So what did you say?” he asked paying only half attention. I sat in a huff on the edge of the bed putting on my socks. The day was beginning. It was an ordinary moment in an ordinary day. “Didn’t I ... Continue Reading »
I’ve avoided all gyms at all costs. Oh I’ve seen the people that walk out of those places, all muscular and well proportioned (except for some freakish guys who just don’t know when to call it a day) And then there are the cute little outfits, tops that don’t cover the essential areas (ah, jelly-belly) ... Continue Reading »
I blame it all on the Tooth Fairy. Who would have thought the lives of two children would change with a simple question over a bowl of cornflakes? It was such an ordinary moment; none of us saw it coming. “Why didn’t she come again?” -Dammit, I forgot, again! “I don’t know sweetie, I guess ... Continue Reading »
It’s really best to get them out of your head. Just forget them, tear them up and throw them away. Yes I know they’re pretty, peaceful, perfect and quite delightful. They’re wonderful to look at but they’re of no use at all. Simply more harm than good really. Just a pile of made-up pictures to ... Continue Reading »
It begins with a toot of his horn, then a hearty wave and cheery “Hello”. The children run eagerly to say hi to him and collect the mail, chatting happily. They drag their friends out to meet him and stop whatever game they’re in the middle of to see him. Our visiting parents all know ... Continue Reading »