I got the call about mum at 9 in the morning. What happened next was a bit of a blur, but I remember the two hour train ride to the hospital vividly. I felt so helpless. At least when you’re driving you have your own feet on the pedals. In the train I was at ... Continue Reading »
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This is not just another blog, another poem, or a heart-felt piece of writing. This is my heart. My heart beating on the page, a heart throbbing with love and sorrow, gratitude and pain. You have left a hole so large I’ve fallen in. Your hand will not reach down this time, there is no ... Continue Reading »
The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her. This is very true for me right now. I have shared every joy and crisis in my life with my mum, until this one. This is the first grief I am doing without her. My mum was small in size but had a ... Continue Reading »
I’m ok at a few things. I can cook a decent curry, make babies smile in boring grocery lines, and put up with endless Seinfeld repeats. I’m also generally good at knowing when to stop drinking, hunting down a bargain, and sleeping in. But I am not good at goodbyes. Whether at funerals or airports, ... Continue Reading »
Nothing leaves until it’s done with us. So you can’t move on too quickly, or let go too casually, or else IT will keep coming after you. The partner you left, the place you moved on from, the emotion you thought you were done with, the obstacle you were hoping to avoid, they will keep ... Continue Reading »
So often, its only after you lose someone or something that you realize how important they are to you. Grief has so many ways of making this point; the nagging, empty feeling, the disorientation, the almost out of body aloneness. The great and wise philosopher Lemony Snicket said it best for me, It is a ... Continue Reading »
I was in the dollar store. Buying brightly coloured plastic landfill, and crying. Did everyone else feel like me? I looked around – it was hard to tell as they filled their shopping carts with crap. I held fart putty in one hand while tears streamed down my cheeks. Nothing was funny. My kids do ... Continue Reading »
“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.” ~ Hafiz When it comes to grief, each person has to find their own healing in their own time and way. One of the hardest parts of grief is to feel alone. It never feels ... Continue Reading »
How do you communicate with an emotion? This is not about talking ABOUT your feelings, but talking TO your feelings. It’s important, because emotional intelligence depends on a healthy two way communication loop; knowing which emotions are speaking and what messages they’re sending, and effectively sending messages back to them. So how do you to ... Continue Reading »
Life’s toughest moments hold the seed of great growth – thorns have roses, tears have heart and trauma has strength. There is wisdom in wounds, perspective in pain and growth in grief. Let the pain make you compassionate and strong, not bitter. Your life is a rose reaching for light. Keep going. Keep growing.
Overcoming loss is like living near a waterfall. At first the sound is deafening, and relentless. Then hours pass without the sadness pounding through your head. Slowly the noise subsides as you realize that grief is ONE of your emotions, but grief doesn’t own you. It’s always there, but tears carve new hope out of ... Continue Reading »
I lost someone very important to me last week. I knew he was important, but didn’t realize how significant until after he was gone. Sadness kept reminding me with a nagging, empty feeling. Suddenly the world looked like a different place and it took a while to get my bearings. The words of the great ... Continue Reading »
It’s St Patrick’s Day and an Irishman is getting ready to jump to his death from a bridge when a Priest walks past. The man sees the Priest and says, “Don’t try to stop me father. I’ve made my decision. I’m going to jump.” ” It can’t be that bad,” says the Priest, “Think of ... Continue Reading »
For more of Cheryl’s articles, please visit her blog. In his lovely volume called The House of Belonging (Many Rivers Press, 1997), wiseman and poet David Whyte says, “…anything or anyone/ that does not bring you alive/ is too small for you.”* Could it be that grief has become too small for me? That’s what ... Continue Reading »
The more things change, the more they remain…insane. Over the Hedge Change involves three steps, in no particular order- endings, beginnings and the ambiguous middle ground in between. Lets call that middle ground, begendings. It seems appropriate to make up a word for this ambiguous middle ground. Do you ever know for sure which point ... Continue Reading »