My 6 yr old cries out, “You aren’t from where I am from” She is frustrated by my confusion. She has tried explaining something she doesn’t quite have words for yet, and this difference of heritage is the only thing she can grasp at this desperate moment. “You don’t understand because you are Australian and ... Continue Reading »
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Ever laughed without smiling, or knelt without knees, hugged without touching or said thanks without please? Ever clapped without hands, or chewed without teeth, slept without dreams, or felt calm without peace? Ever forgot without knowing, or read without words, swum without water, or took without turns? Ever sung without song, or stopped without starting, ... Continue Reading »
Twigs, sticks, grey and lifeless. Pretending to be dead, fooling me. I’m easily fooled. Sharp, brittle, and ugly. Yes, like the duckling. You know the story. Transformation, ugly turns beautiful. We all finally rejoice because pretty is better. But this isn’t a story with a perfect ending. It’s a perfect cycle with no real ending. ... Continue Reading »
You speak in whispers one day, and scream the next. Why be so erratic? Until I realize, ahhhh yes - I hadn’t learnt that lesson. So go on talk loudly in my ear, yell if you must. I’m a slow learner of things like letting go and trust. Mostly I just don’t know anything, other ... Continue Reading »
Unsure feet walking wobbly steps toward an imagined goal. Balancing all the weight and consequences of every decision while juggling all manner of odd shaped problems and demands. In order to avoid an horrific death, each step is first debated then carefully implemented. Possible failure, complete disaster and inevitable therapy all hold their breath waiting ... Continue Reading »
Clutching the toddler’s hand at a busy road I notice another mother does not. Her child a little older than mine walking happily ahead. I cannot imagine ever letting go of his hand in that very place. Allowing him to run on ahead, fearing the worst and always worrying. Yet, later I stand at the ... Continue Reading »
Show me a girl who meets a boy. A boy who doesn’t know how to steal a look without being caught. A boy who can only ever be himself, who hasn’t ever learned how to hide, only seek. Together they chase the chance to be. Once caught, they stare at the truth within the other. ... Continue Reading »
It’s the end of the day. Lights are off, I head to bed. There on my pillow is a note. “you beeter be sorry or you wont get this” (an arrow points to a picture she had drawn, of herself) We had had an argument earlier. Something about piano practice, science projects, hitting her brother, ... Continue Reading »
“There is nothing you can do about it,” He tells me, as if that is going to make me feel any better. I’m now taking huge deep breaths and focusing on puppies and rainbows. I never had a fear of flying until my children were born, then all of a sudden at take-off, all I ... Continue Reading »
Do you sometimes feel like you are holding on for dear life? Holding on to people and places, perspectives and plans, as if you’re holding a baby in a shower. You imagine that to loosen your grip even a little would lead to disaster. After all, it’s a baby, delicate and tiny, and it’s slippery. ... Continue Reading »
He watches quietly taking it all in. His mind creates space for it to dwell deep below His 11 year old eyes notice the lot. Sensitive to all, what’s remembered, what’s not. The skin on my elbow, the song of a bird. The distance between dogs. A look of frustration, The shape of a cloud, ... Continue Reading »
There is nothing I can do. But watch. My wanting it to change, my arguing with it, Pleading for one more day, pointless. The leaves fall, the wind changes, The temperatures drop. The geese fly. My mind calling it the enemy. I prefer, Cloudless skies, sprinklers, and bare feet Nights on the deck in the ... Continue Reading »
He stands, he waits. He has all the patience required for such a job. I have all these bird feeders about. You see, I’m a bit of a bird woman (not one of those ones who feed pigeons in parks…not yet, not today) I love birds, their appearing, right there, then dashing off. Oh come ... Continue Reading »