raise your wordsIt was like many conversations I have been in in my life. We were talking about Russia invading Ukraine and the role of the United States in the whole affair. Opinions were flying around the table at a rapid pace, certainty rising with each pronouncement. Then I had what can only be described as an out of body experience. I rose above the table and saw the whole thing, myself included, as if from above. Everyone’s hearts and minds were naked, our souls laid bare. Primal parts of us were clawing for significance, imagining that the more clever and articulate our opinions, the more powerful we were. But beneath the words and arguments, we were all the same; a little hurt, a little proud, a little defensive. And all desperately wanting to be accepted.

I find myself often stepping back from conversations now and thinking, “No one here really has the whole story. Everyone has a piece, and the piece is preventing us from seeing the whole thing.”

It’s ironic really. We spend so much giving each other a piece of our mind when what would really break through would be the peace of mind that comes with knowing that it’s okay not to know. More listening. More open ended questions. More genuine interest in new perspective. We should end more sentences as questions, the raised tone that signals a question also triggering a raised consciousness. The psychology behind our opinions and communication is every bit as complicated as the conflict in Ukraine.

One of my favorite philosophers, Ken Wilber, says

I have one major rule: everybody is right. No human mind can be 100% wrong. Or, we might say, nobody is smart enough to be wrong all the time. More specifically, everybody — including me — has some important pieces of the truth, and all of those pieces need to be honored, cherished, and included in a more gracious, spacious, and compassionate embrace.

He does have one exception to this rule. Anyone who thinks they have the only truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is wrong.

We all have different opinions and perspectives. We all have different ways of seeing the world. We all have different experiences, prejudices, blind spots and memories. I doubt there is or ever has been a person self aware enough to understand their own unique blend of perspectives.It doesn’t mean you can’t have strong convictions, and express them. Just do it with some humility and openness.

Because beyond opinion, beyond perspectives, beyond right and wrong, there’s a place where we all connect. We all want acceptance and we all crave more love.

Love builds bridges, it creates connections, and cultivates understanding. 

The poet Rumi described it like this-

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.  I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase each other

doesn’t make any sense.

beyond ideas

Maybe Rumi came close to having the self awareness to know the different between right, wrong and love.

Take conversations like the one about Russia and Ukraine to Rumi’s field, and apply love to all involved. See everyone involved as having a story and valid perspectives, and listen with love.

Here is a short meditation we put together for our Soulseeds Garden, that combines images from Ukraine with a powerful song by Mike Himebaugh called Why Not Let Love.

 

Subscribe to Grapevine Back to Grapevine page

  1. M. Catlett says:

    Thank you, I enjoyed this quite a bit.  It’s difficult to let go of the need to be right, to be aware of our egos and let them dissolve into the simple joy of community rather than bolstering up our self-images with some sense of superiority.  Today I’ve stumbled across this message quite a bit; you’re speaking to me with a bit of the voice of the universe. :)Blessings,-M

  2. Steve C says:

    I shall think about this and try to put it into practice today. Thank you : )

  3. Donna says:

    Thank you once again for cutting through the noise and getting to the heart of things…no one has the whole truth…approach with Love and understanding, in all things.  Namaste!

  4. Bob G says:

    Thank you for your article it is very good. Since I’ve begun to understand what it is Rohr, Tolle and Wilber  etc are saying about being present its been rather liberating to see that my opinions are far less important than I once thought. I was the guy in the conversation, once, who was trying to formulate a response (yet pretending to listen) while you were talking and my views and opinions, at the time, were so very important they carried so much weight I used to think that words would change people….bah! humbug 

  5. ian says:

    hi Bob, well said. You are honest and i think a lot of us do this very thing. Liberation is a great word for it.

  6. Miranda says:

    I really, really love this. It feels so relevant to the world I see out my window – and the conversations and ideas that are sprouted in the little flat I like in with my boyfriend!I am writing a piece at the moment about this frustration I have with a culture that I think is well known to us all. The ‘I’m right and you’re wrong’ way of thinking and acting. It can be very small between two people, or a involve a worldwide conflict and therefore many millions of lives. Wars, rigid messages about health and obesity, addiction, poverty, politics… I think it affects so much of our lives.This article gives me a better understanding along with different perspectives and new questions to ask.Thank you, it is very much appreciated.

  7. […] Beyond Opinions and Perspectives – soulseeds.com […]

  8. […] far. It doesn’t matter how robust or comprehensive the author of that article attempts to be, it remains a single perspective. When you get a bit of information from someone who’s only writing or speaking from a place […]