I do yoga, not well, but I do it.
I do fine with the crescents, half moons, full moons, crocodiles, dogs, cats, cows as well as other various animals and solar objects. I can balance with a heel tucked into my groin, (yes, even my own heel and mostly my own groin) I squat in various positions that I’m not sure how to get out of, and hold “chair” till I weep, often opting for the “bar stool” position our instructor suggests for those of us struggling.
But it is the last 10 minutes spread out on my back in meditation that I don’t do so well with. My body longs for this time the entire hour. As I hold plank cursing the day I was born, I try to turn my mind to the reward at the end of class, ahhh, meditation!
Eventually I drop my bag of bones down on the mat and let the peace wash over me. Only, the peace never quite washes, it’s more of an annoying dribble. Teasing, taunting, testing, trying, tempting…. (And yes, peace likes alliteration, who knew) And this is where it all goes wrong.
Our instructor’s soft voice innocently asks us one simple harmless question, “Imagine your favourite place, the place that brings you peace, that calms and renews you. Perhaps it’s a beach, or the woods, or on your favourite couch….”
Me: “Right, peaceful place, peaceful place… ahh, yes, lets see, it has to be my childhood beach, with the gentle waves kissing the shore, a pleasant breeze perhaps, perfect….oh no, what about that wonderful spot on the bay, oh yes, I loved going down there watching the children dance in delight as the pippies bubbled around their toes at low tide……….hang on, wait a minute, no no, I really love that bench under the Moreton Bay fig trees with a view of the harbour boats as the sun glistens on the water like shards of cut glass, just stunning…mmmmn, or what about just out the back of our house here in the woods, on a winters night with the snow tucking it’s blanket around the earth? Now that’s peace, talk about peace…no actually, it’s really just got to be in bed, not having anything to do, anywhere to be, to go…
Ahhh yes bed, I wish I were in bed now…so tired…”
Instructor: “Ok, so come back slowly from your peaceful place now, waking gently to this moment before you…”
And there it is folks, it’s true. I can turn the simple task of finding one peaceful place into something as stressful as sitting for a final year law exam.
Apparently I have just too much peace in my life to be at peace! And now excuse me while I chase after my mind, it’s gone running into a forest which I can’t see for the trees…
Copyright (C) 2010 By Meg Lawton. All Rights Reserved.