Nothing quite does it like the form fitting Spanx. The all-empowering under-garment that makes me believe I can conquer new worlds, turn the world on its axis, and make supermodels weep. Who knew all that power would come from simply being able to suck in my baby belly? (Can I still call it that when the baby is now 15?) ….Now, if only I could keep all these superpowers while I scrape the damn thing off!
But unfortunately the beloved Spanx that gave me all this power, is the very thing that taketh it away.
You see, it was an ordinary warm July evening when I asked my young son of 10 to fold the laundry. A grave error, as I had forgotten about the Spanx in the basket. He held the garment between thumb and forefinger, nose screwed up and asked unanswerable questions followed by giggles between him and his siblings. I slunk powerless from the room. How does one explain such an undergarment to a 10 yr old boy? (I had only just recovered from a similar ‘thong’ incident the week before)
But enough! Today I regain my inner power and proudly declare that yes, indeed my body may not be in proportion; I have bigger bits here, and lumpier parts there. And no, I may not have the stomach of a teenager and take great lengths to cover the thing up. But hey, let’s face it, it took all my superpowers to stretch myself into this shape in the first place! And I happen to think that having a few babies requires more strength, power (and a touch of humiliation) than superman will ever know. So step aside world (and giggling 10 yr old boys), for this Super Woman has some lives to nurture, and laundry to fold.