1. I have a louder than most would agree necessary laugh
2. A wonky social filter that kicks in sporadically.
3. An eye for sorrow lurking in corners.
4. A stubborn unsubstantiated confidence that the best in life will always bob up to the top.
5. I don’t wake up well. If given time and space I defrost about an hour into the morning and am known to be cheery and conversational on a good day.
6. I truly believe that a heart can be opened to anything if the mind gets out of the way.
7. I act more confident than I usually am.
8. I am someone who likes to feel her feet; therefore I am not a winter person. Nor am I a gun person, a vegan person, a boat or long windy road person.
9. I’m impatient with automated machines telling me to repeat myself over the phone, kids asking questions when I’m on the toilet and barking dogs.
10. I love our dog more than I thought possible even when she eats 16 freshly baked organic pumpkin doughnuts and I only got one.
11. I also love my kids. And my husband. Wow- who are these amazing people??? My family astounds me daily as if I somehow got cast into this role I had no business being in. They are soulful, kind and generous. I wonder why I got to be so lucky. I really do. Every day.
12. I’m not extravagant, some may say frugal. I don’t have much time for stuff, I like my ugg boots, a cool ornament my grandma paid for, an old table made by my brother-in-law for our wedding 22yrs ago. But if I have too much stuff it can almost hurt, which is weird.
13. I love food so much I organize family road trips around restaurant reviews. When I remember a vacation, it is the food I think of first. I talk about the food as I eat the food, everyone around me knows if I’ve enjoyed the meal or not. For some reason I think that this might be as important to them as it is to me.
14. I trust a little too easily, as if I’ve never been hurt – but have.
15. I feel things in movies as though they’re happening to me personally. When Fontaine died in Les Miserables, I died. When Nemo got lost, I got lost. This seems to happen in real life too, it’s exhausting.
16. I have dreams too shy for introductions, hiding behind reality only to poke me when I’m not looking. The dreams play and dance while I wait and pounce. It’s a thing we do. Sometimes we snuggle, sometimes I fall flat on my face wondering where the little blighter ran off to.
17. One of my favourite things to do is doing nothing, and everything. I like to be included and left alone- I’m a funny mix like that.
18. My girlfriends keep me sane and mostly out of trouble. Although I do blame them each individually for my weight gain and alcohol consumption. I realise it’s a small price for sanity, so on behalf of my family- I thank them.
19. The older I get the less noise I can manage. I worry I’ll be an old crotchety woman who startles easily.
20. I want my kids to be happy every breathing minute of their lives even though I know this is stupid and not even best for them.
21. My brain works overtime on pointless things like worry and hope. I worry that I wont make a difference, that I am not enough, and what to cook for dinner – usually while lying in bed wide awake at 2am.
22. Symmetry gives me the heebees. I like odd numbers, things off balance and slightly askew. (I added this point so I could end on the number 23, and so I could use the word “askew”)
23. I believe in the light of each day, the opportunity in each breathe and the strength in us all.
I believe that you and I can do good here, that we can figure a few things out and chip away at this big ol’ life filled with barking dogs and doughnuts, windy roads, old tables, loud laughter and Nemo. I figure we just have to sift through all the bits that slap us about and lift us up.
I’ll show you me, if you show me you. We just need to tell each other the truth, introduce ourselves, give fair warning.
So, hi, this is me. You have been warned.