Being a boy sucks. Especially when your mother is a man-hater. So lucky for you, your mother isn’t.
But, I think I may have given you the impression I am and feel the need to explain.
Although I do happen to believe that many of the world’s problems are caused by men, I do not blame an entire gender for all of life’s woes.
Yes, it is correct that I have told you since you were little that whenever you’re lost in a crowd to go find a woman, as women are statistically safer. And after watching the movie “Girl Rising” I was visibly angry at how men continue to oppress girls by denying them an education. And yes, I’ve stated more than once with arms in the air how men have caused war more than any woman in history. I’ve been quick to point out that greedy wallstreet lobbyists are mostly men in suits and sexual abusers within the church are often men hiding behind robes and their god. It is true I have explained that the sex trafficking trade is controlled by sick men, and how domestic violence is usually inflicted by men on women…..
Yes, I can see how you may think I am a man hater.
But I am not. And here is why.
You are becoming the very man I believe in, the man I trust, the man I admire, the man I love.
Your empathy, compassion, sensitivity, awareness and acceptance of others stands you apart from these other men who seek power at the cost of others. These small men cannot possibly compare to the man you are becoming. I am so sorry that my passionate discussions about raging inequalities between genders has caused you to doubt yourself – as a boy. I am sorry my outrage has confused you- as a boy. Has caused you to question my love for you – as a boy. Nothing could be further from the truth. My faith in men, society and humanity grows daily because of YOU.
No denying it, this boy thing is tricky to figure out. Everyone has expectations of you, from locker room antics to how well you should handle a gaming console. Who made up these stupid rules? I have no idea what makes a boy a boy, but I sure as hell know it’s not based on hunting, shooting 3 pointers or knowing the model of a car. Let’s rip up this rule-book now, and co-write the one about just being a decent human being. One book- for both boys, and girls.
But in the meantime, when in doubt, I urge you to look around. You are surrounded by men who are being decent, kind and generous. Who do not need to gain power over women to feel important. Men who do not need to harm another to feel bigger, who do not need to oppress, belittle, abuse or deny. Your living breathing best example, is your dad. Let his gentleness, awareness and generosity be your guide. When I see him, I see all that you are becoming, and more.
You dear son, are my hope for humanity.