I think I came out of the womb looking for truth. For as far back as I can remember, I have been curious about all things internal and/or spiritual.
As a child and young woman, I longed to understand things like why Hare Krishnas sang in the airports, the source of my deepest thoughts, feelings, and desires, and the significance of foreign religious rituals. I was envious of those who found life-changing insights with a master teacher in the wilderness. I fantasized about abandoning the business of everyday life to join a monastery.
I knew that there were truths outside of my small world and I had an unquenchable thirst to discover their sweetness. I devoured countless books in the self-exploration, spiritual, and new age genres, was attracted to eccentric people who seemed to have THE answer, and participated in all types of self-discovery activities.
I am grateful for my innate curiosity. It keeps me open and in motion.
However, even an inquiring mind has to be counterbalanced with a filter of self-truth. When I reflect on my inquisitive nature, it is evident that I have spent most of my life as a sponge, soaking up and expanding with all types of information. In doing so, I gained much knowledge. I did not, however, gain knowing.
More importantly, in my reliance on others for truth, I overlooked my own. I neglected to realize that the truth that I sought after was with me all the time – simply waiting for me to come home.
I recently found myself in a situation where my conduct was called into question. I was accused of behaving in a way that was less than desirable for another. This was their truth. I felt like I was walking a tightrope – flailing my arms as I wobbled from one perspective to another in an attempt to gain equilibrium. My familiar way of being was to rely on others to inform my truth, yet my heart was calling upon me to search and discover the truth for myself.
Finding your truth requires a great deal of openness and a fair amount of scrutiny. I like to imagine it like shopping for a coat. Your eye is drawn to a various colors, styles, and designs. You try each of them on and critique the fit. You stretch in different directions to see if it will allow you move with freedom. You imagine how it might harmonize with the other clothes in your closet. You determine if it will keep you warm on the coldest of days. You ask yourself, “Is this me? Does it feel good?” You eventually decide to bring one home or leave it for someone else.
Today, I am less interested in jeopardy-style knowledge. Today, I seek a deep and grounded experience of knowing. A knowing that is not easily conveyed with words yet has no less significance.
Try it on.
Stretch and critique the fit.
Determine if it feels good.
Claim your truth.
Lots of love and wishes for ease and well being,
Melody Joy Deetz is a creative soul, an explorer of self, and seeker of truth. She practices mindfulness, yoga, and heart opening. She is totally inspired by the authentic stories and triumphs of others and is learning
every day how to share her own stories. You can connect with her at her site (http://melodyjoydeetz.com/), Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/melodyjdeetz), or follow her on Twitter (https://twitter.com/MelodyJoyDeetz)