November 4th, 2013

algebra 2A schoolteacher was arrested at John F Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a plane while in possession of a ruler, a protracter, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, United States Attorney General, said he believed the man was a member of the notorious gang Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who was charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a problem for us.” he said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value.

“They use secret code names like”x” and “y” and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with co-ordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say ” There are three sides to every triangle'”. When asked to comment on the arrest, the American President said ‘” If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.”       

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