October 12th, 2012

Not helping is sometimes the most helpful way to help people help themselves.

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  1. […] stumbled across a great saying today on twitter from which reminded me that sometimes right action is no […]

  2. In gardening it’s called, “benign neglect.” Anyone with experience in gardening knows a plant can sicken or die from too much water, too much sun, too much food, etc.Bougainvillea and pomegranate in my garden are great teachers. They both thrive and give magnificent blooms. The pomegranate trees give luscious fruit.  All because I very consciously do not give them the food and water I give the other plants.  They like to be left on their own.I love the plants in my garden and try to give them what they need…..and no more.Plants, like people, often need to be left alone so they can develop their own sturdy ways of surviving and thriving.  Still, it’s nice to be surrounded with love – just not a lot of “helping.”  🙂 Joanna Poppink, MFTLos Angeles eating disorder psychotherapist of Healing Your Hungry Heart: recovery from your eating disorder  

  3. Angelique says:

    What a beautiful analogy, Joanna.  Thanks for sharing!

  4. Shenaz says:

    Joanna it is interesting you write that as I have an orchid plant which did not flower for two years and I was trying different things to try and get it to bloom. Then I gave up and left it alone and was happily surprised a few months later that in ‘neglecting it’ it blossomed in its own time and in it’s own way 🙂

  5. This is very true! ♥ It can be so hard to take a step back sometimes (especially when a loved one’s involved) but sometimes it’s exactly what’s needed, in order for that person to to heal. @Shenaz: My orchid did the same!! I tried so hard to get it to flower, then I thought it had died so ignored it, and one day woke up to the most fantastic, pink blooms! 🙂 x

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