Expectation

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It’s St Patrick’s Day and an Irishman is getting ready to jump to his death from a bridge when a Priest walks past. The man sees the Priest and says, “Don’t try to stop me father. I’ve made my decision. I’m going to jump.” ” It can’t be that bad,” says the Priest, “Think of […]
66

About a Boy

February 21st, 2012
He told me while I was in the kitchen. Stirring something, soup maybe, onions or boiling potatoes, doesn’t matter really, whatever it was, my stirring soon became furious. “They told me I wasn’t really a boy today.” His 12yr old voice tried to remain detached. “Really” I replied, trying to match his detachment, while searching […]
11

No Laughing Matter

January 31st, 2012
I’m not the funny one. Oh I can be funny even without a glass of chardonnay in hand. But I’m not the funny one. Put in me in a crowd and I’m rather silly if you catch me in the right mood, yes I’m may have heard a chuckle or two in my presence. It’s […]
21

A Watery Path.

November 15th, 2011
Over the years Tears. She’s pregnant. She cried. “You have a boy”, again happy, ecstatic tears. Another two makes three. Three times more the tears. Tears from firsts, tears from lasts. Beginning school, of pushing away, tight embraces, overnight stays, and saying goodbyes. First hurts. Last glances Thankful tears for second chances. Tears from fears […]
5

Picture Perfect.

October 18th, 2011
It’s really best to get them out of your head. Just forget them, tear them up and throw them away. Yes I know they’re pretty, peaceful, perfect and quite delightful. They’re wonderful to look at but they’re of no use at all. Simply more harm than good really. Just a pile of made-up pictures to […]
18

Confessions of an Artist.

September 13th, 2011
I. Screw. Up. (In case there are still a handful of you out there who hadn’t realized) Ahh, that feels better. And I don’t mean just sometimes. No, daily, and most probably hourly if I am to be honest. This motherhood gig is a lot harder than I thought it would be. The wide-eyed optimism […]
How many members of Congress does it take to change a light bulb? Every one of them, and they still can’t do it. They spend all their time arguing about who deliberately caused the light bulb to break in the first place, debating whether the science of electricity is reliable and fighting over which programs […]
A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.- Jerry Seinfeld Let me expand on that……parenting is like a topless blender. Just when you fill that blender with all the perfect ingredients for the best ever smoothie, (a little flax seed for heart health, a little […]
Ever noticed that really thin line between a perfectly wonderful moment and hating your entire life? (Please say it isn’t just me! Seriously, please, email me, like, now) It’s like an invisible wire that trips you up without warning or notice. Oh you’ll be going about your day gaily with a song in your heart […]
I think it’s safe to say that I’m not a fan of the science project. Does this make me a bad mother? Perhaps, but so be it. It all starts out so innocently, with “Select a topic” but pretty much goes down hill from there. Oh yes, it all looks fun and games on paper, […]
6

“SHAZAM!”

February 28th, 2011
Nothing quite does it like the form fitting Spanx.  The all-empowering under-garment that makes me believe I can conquer new worlds, turn the world on its axis, and make supermodels weep. Who knew all that power would come from simply being able to suck in my baby belly? (Can I still call it that when […]
9

Floating Mud Pies.

February 14th, 2011
Show me a girl who meets a boy. A boy who doesn’t know how to steal a look without being caught. A boy who can only ever be himself, who hasn’t ever learned how to hide, only seek. Together they chase the chance to be. Once caught, they stare at the truth within the other. […]
6

A Close Shave

February 8th, 2011
I try to have a conversation from the bedroom. He was in the bathroom. “So what did you say?” he asked paying only half attention. I sat in a huff on the edge of the bed putting on my socks. The day was beginning. It was an ordinary moment in an ordinary day. “Didn’t I […]
4

Stepping Out.

January 11th, 2011
I’ve avoided all gyms at all costs. Oh I’ve seen the people that walk out of those places, all muscular and well proportioned (except for some freakish guys who just don’t know when to call it a day) And then there are the cute little outfits, tops that don’t cover the essential areas (ah, jelly-belly) […]
4

Reality Bites.

December 13th, 2010
I blame it all on the Tooth Fairy. Who would have thought the lives of two children would change with a simple question over a bowl of cornflakes? It was such an ordinary moment; none of us saw it coming. “Why didn’t she come again?” -Dammit, I forgot, again! “I don’t know sweetie, I guess […]

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