Fear

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  I’m not a fan of country music. Nor am I fan of “Jesus taking my wheel”, I usually like to take my own wheel thank you very much. But on this particular day, Jesus, Mohommad, sheez, even the Queen of England could have reached right over and grabbed the wheel from my son that ... Continue Reading »
What makes someone a “good person” or a “bad person”? And how do we know the difference? These may seem like esoteric questions, but the answers have both practical and important ramifications. In 1977, Penn State football defensive coordinator for 32 years Jerry Sandusky founded the Second Mile, a nonprofit organization whose mission is to ... Continue Reading »
21

A Watery Path.

November 15th, 2011
Over the years Tears. She’s pregnant. She cried. “You have a boy”, again happy, ecstatic tears. Another two makes three. Three times more the tears. Tears from firsts, tears from lasts. Beginning school, of pushing away, tight embraces, overnight stays, and saying goodbyes. First hurts. Last glances Thankful tears for second chances. Tears from fears ... Continue Reading »
17

Coming Out.

September 27th, 2011
“I think she’s in here” Silence. “Nope, maybe upstairs then” Feet. Darn I sigh…..they find me. Is this normal? You know, to hide from your kids? I don’t mean the missing-in-action, type of hiding, where search parties scour muddy marshes. When everyone gives up looking, saying “oh well, we tried. She was nice enough, but ... Continue Reading »
Fear is the memory of danger. It serves a purpose, often keeping us out of danger like not touching a red hot stove top, but in many ways it’s a dinosaur. The fight or flight response of fear is a hangover from ancient times when people had to avoid flying spears and hungry mammoths. It ... Continue Reading »
29

That Word.

July 12th, 2011
Just a few words, enough to make me sick. A few ugly words, so wrong “What?” I ask, now she has to say it again. Now I hear it twice, making it worse. “My legs are fat” She says, Twice. Just like that. FAT That word, in her mouth about her self ugly and bitter ... Continue Reading »
12

The Lesson.

July 5th, 2011
He’s waiting for me in the car. The engine’s running. Mirrors adjusted, seat pushed back. It’s his turn. I’m his passenger His teacher, guide, His mother and, control freak. This will be interesting We all know that’s the wrong word. But It will do for now. I breathe heavily as he reverses into the busy ... Continue Reading »
12

Walk the Line

April 12th, 2011
Unsure feet walking wobbly steps toward an imagined goal. Balancing all the weight and consequences of every decision while juggling all manner of odd shaped problems and demands. In order to avoid an horrific death, each step is first debated then carefully implemented. Possible failure, complete disaster and inevitable therapy all hold their breath waiting ... Continue Reading »
4

The Crossing

March 22nd, 2011
Clutching the toddler’s hand at a busy road I notice another mother does not. Her child a little older than mine walking happily ahead. I cannot imagine ever letting go of his hand in that very place. Allowing him to run on ahead, fearing the worst and always worrying. Yet, later I stand at the ... Continue Reading »
3

Mind-Full Worry.

January 24th, 2011
“There is nothing you can do about it,” He tells me, as if that is going to make me feel any better. I’m now taking huge deep breaths and focusing on puppies and rainbows. I never had a fear of flying until my children were born, then all of a sudden at take-off, all I ... Continue Reading »
4

Stepping Out.

January 11th, 2011
I’ve avoided all gyms at all costs. Oh I’ve seen the people that walk out of those places, all muscular and well proportioned (except for some freakish guys who just don’t know when to call it a day) And then there are the cute little outfits, tops that don’t cover the essential areas (ah, jelly-belly) ... Continue Reading »
4

From Under the Covers

September 8th, 2010
I’m not one to get hysterical, buy into drama (unless I happen to be starring in it!) and nor do I watch endless hours of End-of-Times, they’re-coming-to-get-us news stories. But what I am about to tell you may change your life forever. Bed bugs thrive in warm environments. - There, now go tell all those you ... Continue Reading »
9

The Space In Between

August 9th, 2010
Once spoken so clearly in a language we all understood. Yes. It was that simple. Now I’m not so sure of what to do. Move closer, step back or just smile, from way over there. Sometimes the gap’s so big that I could fall right in not knowing what to grab. Them? I needed that ... Continue Reading »

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