The Mother Load

May 13th, 2013

mother and baby horse long

We had a yard sale last week. A grandmother bought a bunch of furniture from us as she had family moving in. She said she would be back to haul it away. We were surprised to see her turn up in a two door convertible and even more surprised when she crammed computer tables and TV stands into her little car and drove off with stuff hanging out everywhere. As she drove away, I thought to myself, “that is the grandmother lode.”

The mother lode is a phrase that originally referred to a source of water and was then used in the mining world. When miners found a rich source of new metal ore, they would say they hit the mother lode.

I like that. It gives a sense of the rich source of abundance beneath the surface.

We ALL have a mother lode of personal power and peace within us, even if you have to dig to mine it.

Mother’s Day, and holidays like it, are difficult for many people and for many different reasons. One of the saddest details to come out of the rescue of the 3 women kidnapped for 10 years in Cleveland was Amanda Berry finally escaping to find that her mother had died while she was held captive. I can’t even imagine how hard Mother’s Day was for Amanda with her own child, a constant reminder of her ordeal and her mother gone. I can’t imagine what Mothers Day was like for those ten years for the mothers and children.

Mother’s Day can be difficult for people who have lost their mothers and those who don’t get on with their mothers, for whatever reason. It can be a time of guilt and regret for a lot of people.

It’s an important time to dig deep into the mother lode of personal power and inner peace and maybe even find a little compassion for your mother. She carries her own mother load and your stories intersect. The author of Tuesday With Morrie, Mitch Albom said,

There’s a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours began.

It seems to be difficult to forgive parents, maybe we expect more from them, maybe too much. Now that I’m a parent, I see the other side of the relationship. I remember the first time I saw a teacher out of school, and realized that she was a human being with her own life. It was a little shocking to me as a kid. And I remember the first time I saw my parents crying, and realized they were people with their own loads to carry.

I am one of the lucky ones with an amazing mother, who has been my number one supporter at every step of my life. But I’m acutely aware of those who don’t have the support that I’ve had, for whatever reason. My heart goes out to these people this Mother’s Day. And my heart goes out to their mothers, as they carry their loads and live their stories. I hope for healing and letting go and moving on.

Anne Lamott described her difficult relationship with her mother with brutal honesty,

I spent my whole life helping my mother carry around her psychic trunks like a bitter bellhop. So a great load was lifted when she died, and my life was much easier.

Anne also said, “It wasn’t until the fourth year after her death that I truly understood the gifts my mother — a mess like all of us — had left me.”

She seems to have grown to understand the mother load, partly because of her own struggles being a mother, and partly because of the mother lode of personal power, a rich and abundant source of compassion deep within all of us.

You have the ability to feel the pain and suffering of those around you, even those who have hurt you, because of this mother lode of compassion, without getting buried in pain. Let go of some of the hurt as you recognize that everyone carries their load. Release some of the pain. Choose to move on. Feel some of the load lift.

Nancy Friday, an American author who wrote extensively on women’s issues, said,

When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself.

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  1. Norma Jean Barker says:

    Thank you for this. I so appreciate the depth of many of your messages.  I hope one day to meet you.  I would enjoy talking with you. I know I would feel seen and heard and appreciated.  

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