Loving Breath

August 25th, 2010

His body is warm, tangled in blankets. A lump.

Each breath in – dreaming of what might be,

Each breath out -glad for what was.

In – asking,

out – thanking.

A beautiful rhythm, a chant, a prayer.

He rests peacefully knowing the reality of his outer world, now meets the possibilities of his inner world. Each night as his eyes close, all lines blur.

I tiptoe in, not daring to disturb this magical dance. Each night I am beckoned to watch, to sit gently on the edge of his bed, the edge of his dreams.

Me awake, him asleep. I lean in close, as whisper just touching his ear “I love you”, hoping to somehow become a part of his dream, to reach into that inner world and gently place the words safely down. Every now and then he reaches out of his dream and gives me one of the greatest gifts. A sleepy arm finds it’s way out of the blankets, finds my neck and pulls me close, and in a croaky voice he will breathe right back, “I love you too”

Somehow these words sound more real, more awake, more true to me than at any other time. When he says them in his sleep, they are a part of him, not just in his wakeful logical mind, but in that hidden beneath part, in his secret space, in his dreams. The words are whispered in his most honest moment, in his breath.

I say a little thankyou, kiss his cheek and tiptoe out, knowing he will not remember this moment, knowing I will never forget it.

Copyright (C) 2010 by Meg lawton. All Rights Reserved.

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  1. Steve Platt says:

    Aaaah.  I even still do that to Chris.

  2. Christine Tartt says:

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.  I found my stillness last night cuddled up with my lump tangled in blankets.  Mine, too, reached out from his sleep and told me he loved me.  It helped to center me, made all of the nonsense that I was so worried about go away.  That moment, and moments like that are ALL that matter.  Beautifully stated.  You are truly an artist.

  3. Meg says:

    Thank YOU Christine. You are so right, these moments are the truest of them all, and we are so lucky to have them. Namaste.

  4. Andrea More says:

    I do this too–but can never put it into words the way you just did.

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