Brutally Honest.

March 10th, 2014

blog- brutal honestDamn straight parenting is a tough gig.

I think we can all agree that the long nights, second guesses, picky eaters, let goings, endless questions, toilet trainings, unknown futures, total meltdowns, stressful schedules, teenage prickles, emotional challenges, lonely moments, toddler tantrums, exhausting mindgames, sibling rivalries, hurtful comments, falling overs, and power struggles, really just aren’t a whole lotta laughs!

To bitch and moan about parenthood is easy. But to bitch and moan about parenthood without your kids feeling like shit is the hard part. So don’t. I have read many a parenting blog who pride themselves on keeping it real by being brutally honest. They don’t use their kids real names- you know to protect them, but instead call their kids pet nasty names in jest. Our kids WILL read these blogs one day, our kids DO hear the words we use.

Oh, but don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to go all Pollyanna on you- the parenting blogs that describe how cleaning poo is one of life’s joys, and the answer to all behavior problems is never saying no and simply hugging your child closer to your bosom, only makes me want to knock on that parent’s door and hug THEM to my bosom- saying “There-there, you can stop the charades now- poo stinks and you’re not fooling anyone.”

This doesn’t just happen in the blogging world. We have all met these parents in the real world too. I’ve heard everything in the playground from parenting being heaven on earth through to how little Johnny annoys the crap out of his mum so much that she now has to pop pills so she wont sign him up for circus camp and “forget” to pick him up. If we haven’t formally met – this might be an issue for me and I’ll most likely pack up my toys and be on my way. (As an interesting aside, it generally seems that many of the blessed mothers I’ve met live in America, and the long-suffering-get-me-out-of-here mothers with wild crazy eyes are Australian, huh.)

I think one can learn from the other, a little more Pollyanna here, a little more Dr Phil there. Of course parenting has its good bits, fun bits and amazing bits but let’s not forget there are the just downright rip-your hair out before someone cops it in the eye bits too- just as all of life. We need to keep it real in the real world, for how else can we possibly connect? If we plaster fake smiles on our fake faces we’ll never really get to know each other. Our vulnerabilities and hardships will either repulse one another or give us permission to show our true selves. It’s a risk we need to take, but not at the cost of our kids. They’re merely doing some extremely annoying growing up stuff, while we’re doing some extremely messy parenting stuff! Together we bump and clash, embrace and dance, our way through the years. Some days we balance it all rather well, and some days we shouldn’t have got out of bed- either way we need to keep it real.  So, instead of being brutally honest, I say let’s all be beautifully honest.

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  1. LIsa H says:

    Thanks Meg.  LOVED this.  

  2. suzi says:

    You are truly a gift!  Thanks, Meggie

  3. helen says:

    So true – your summing up of being beautifully honest instead of brutally honest is a gem that i’m keeping for much future recycling x

  4. Meg says:

    Thanks Helen, I’m glad my words resonate 🙂

  5. Anonymous says:

    I like this & to be honest, once we get past nappies & primary schooling this trend of ‘honest’ parenting ceases like a brick in the face. When our little darlings become a little more self responsible & do things that we cannot be proud of or do not understand it becomes a little harder to dismiss in a cutesy bad parent kind of way. When they grow & actually independently do things that make us question how we raised them, that is when support is needed for those occasions of bad parenting. One time I gave my son a rocket & Vegemite wrap, he was disgusted. I am not sure I failed, he was old enough to make his own bloody lunch. Try to find a parent of a grown child who has stuffed up, they are thin on the ground. When our precious cargo grows up these flippant….oh I forgot to pick him/her up parents fly with the wind.   You lucky parents of little ones, they are tiny and sweet for such a short time. Enjoy every single moment, & do whatever is right for your family. Have your moments when you lock yourself in the bathroom and make them eat jam sandwiches for dinner.  It is not everyday, we all know that.  We all know that we are trying to get broccoli and citrus and  yellow veg in the diet.  We know that the perfect parent ideology is a myth, or something  perpetuated on social media that we cannot meet.  I do bake bread & make quiches,  I make scrolls & muffins (from a packet). I study full time & my children are aged 15 & 24. It is slightly easier at this end, no toddlers. I am a parent who is speaking with some bias, last year my beautiful, beautiful 23 year old son hit rock bottom with a crystal meth habit. I did not even know he had one. I failed & I am not boasting about it on social media. Nor are any of these trending parents who have little cool moments when they fall down with parenting.  Enjoy the ordinary moments but keep on striving to do the best.  Our children will be able to look back one day through everything we post on social media. Keep it real means real.                                                                                     

  6. […] read a short article a few weeks ago about being honest about parenting. It seems that there are many parents around the world who enjoy parenting a lot more than others. […]

  7. Ram says:

    Last Friday, when I had to send one of my precious cats to Kitty Heaven, a frenid told me that the mice and squirrels run more slowly up there. I’m having a hard time with my loss..I send hugs to your family.

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